"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
- Mark Twain
While we all go into marriage with the best intentions, the sad fact is that divorce rates remain high in our country. However, many families are dealing with divorce, remarriage and joint custody in positive, healthy ways. Children are usually their parent's chief concern during times of transition, and Arlene Margolis-Devermont is here to help.
If you'd like to Ask Arlene your questions on raising kids in blended or divorced families email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I am upset with my ex because when our children go to his house he expects me to pack
clothing for the kids for the weekend. When they return home there is always
clothing missing. This infuriates me, as I have to keep buying new clothing to
replace what he never seems to be able to find. Of course, to make it worse he
always can't find one part of each outfit so I end up with tops and bottoms
that don't go together. What's the solution?
I recommend that each parent always have their own wardrobe for the children at their
house. The children can then come and go in the same outfit. While at the other
parent's home they can wear what that parent keeps there for them. I know some
parents may take issue with this, as often a non-custodial parent pays child
support and expects the other parent to buy the clothing with that money.
However, if a child is only with a parent a small part of the week, the
clothing needed at that house won't be much. The cost will be even lower when it
is considered that these children are small and can wear inexpensive clothing.
When they are older, they can keep track of their own clothing and make sure
they bring back what they took with them. An additional benefit to this
situation is that the child will feel more at home at their father's house and
less like a "visitor" knowing they have their own wardrobe there.