Last night I took a young friend to a meeting for LGBT youth. As he is a bit (extremely) shy and I am a bit (extremely) protective of him, I stayed in the building during his meeting, perched...
Today I listened to a story about an elderly couple who went on a road trip. The wife was convinced she was dying because there was hair in her comb. Natural response. They had to travel a long...
There is an excellent chance I was born during the wrong decade. I can't keep up with my generation, though I rarely try. My wife is currently on the phone with our wireless company trying to figure...
"Hi," I said to the man standing in my personal bubble, waiting for me to unlock the door to our apartment building. Perhaps he didn't hear me. "How are you?" Does he have two lazy eyes? Look me in...
It occurred to me that my life is mostly a disaster with splashes of success. There's a chance I don't offer the most optimistic view of life after college. This realization as well as a large dose...
I was worried when my phone rang at 8am, and also slightly hopeful that my day was cancelled. I don't know who would call me with that information. Maybe God. Or Oprah. I was disappointed to find...
"Is that….neck fat?" I wonder aloud to my empty apartment as I poke the awkward pouch on my neck. "Necks get fat?" I ask my dog in horror, who responds by scratching his own back boobs. I...
"We printed out your presentation," my supervisor said as I walked in the door for an evening meeting. (Don't I sound fancy?)"My, what?" The presentation that I'm supposed to give in two weeks?"Yeah...
"I think my husband has one," My sister said, contributing to a conversation about changing a thermostat."Has one what?" I asked."A screw thing.""A screw thing?""Yeah, that thing you're talking about...
My mom told me that she never allowed me to work on my homework for more than three hours when I was a kid. Apparently my school teachers told parents to cut-off their kids after an hour and half of...
My sister has boxes full of pajamas under her bed. A disproportionate number of dresser drawers in my apartment are crammed with matching sets. Much to my wife's chagrin. Every Christmas Eve for life...
Good things come to those who wait. By "good things" I mean material goods, and by "wait" I mean neglect to buy because you're poor. My wife and I worked on our budget for a long time before we came...
Last week I introduced you fine folks to my good friend, Stephanie Reyes. She's currently busy trying to save the world, but every so often she manages to squeeze in some face-to-face time with other...
"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love," said Mildred Vermont. I previously wrote a letter to my Dad, detailing childhood memories...
My friend, Stephanie Reyes, was the queen of college in undergrad. She worked hard and participated in every activity our school offered. One might think things went really well for her after college...
Back in October, I celebrated my one-year anniversary at my current job. I had my interview in late August, accepted the position in September and then started the first week of October. After a...
Just when I thought I might start selling my eggs, my husband, Brian, finished graduate school. Instead of spending his extra time as a teaching assistant/barista, he was free to spend his time......
I have a zit in the middle of one of my forehead wrinkles. I'm fairly certain there is a law against suffering from the adolescent self-esteem crusher at the same time as dreaded sign of old age....
…or so I thought. Since beginning my new job as a teaching assistant, saving money has become near impossible (or seemingly so). Perhaps I am a "professional diaper changer" or "glorified...
You want me to take off my shoes, belt, and shirt? Airport security, are we about to have sexy times? I really think you should buy me a drink first, but you're the one with the handcuffs so I'll...
