Pardon me miss, but your nether parts are showing.
I recognize it's not actually appropriate to say this to strangers, but I also don't think it's appropriate to flash butt cheek to strangers whilst walking down the street.
You see, fall is here. (Well, sort of. I slept in a puddle of my own sweat last night, so summer may still be holding on, but fall is definitely coming.) And fall means too much leg, too much alcohol, and too much noise in Boston.
Once upon two years ago I really looked forward to fall. The smells, the tastes, the sites. Unfortunately, however, moving to a college town means that most of my favorite things have been replaced by the destruction of hormonal college students.
What was once the delicious aroma of pie baking in the oven is now the stench of urine that couldn't be held until Johnny Double-Fisty got home.
The vibrant foliage has been replaced by garbage tossed into the street, and the goosebumped legs of girls pretending they made solid fashion choices when they donned skirts that hardly cover their lady business. Seriously girls, don't be surprised when the driver of the taxi you're trying to hail offers you the money.
The light sound of dry leaves rustling in the wind has given way to pounding Skrillex and the scream-chants of underage boys taunting their friends to drink more. Apparently drinking is only cool if you can't remember your own name. Or the name of that girl who woke up in your bed. Or was it her bed?
While there are plenty of hardworking, mature students in the area, the memorable ones are the ones who keep me up six nights a week (and the Lord said Wednesday shall be a day of rest), urinate on my doorstep, and push me off the sidewalk with their stampede. I'm not entirely sure why they must travel in such large packs. I think it's where they get their power from and where they learn that look. That one that says "even though I just moved here, I own this place. I am the ish, and-OMG that girl is wearing sweatpants in public?!"
As a working student-athlete with multiple extracurricular activities during undergrad I had little time for partying. While I found the occasion to have a good time and enjoy myself, I recall spending more time working, studying, and exercising than drinking, screaming, and drinking. At 3am on a Tuesday. I can only hope that I was never as disrespectful to my neighbors and to my own body as many of these students seem to be.
I imagine a few years from now, when bills stack higher than a beer can pyramid, they'll be the crotchety 20-somethings shouting out the window for kids to "pick up that solo cup and turn down the darned noise!"