All parents can recall times when they said or did something they regretted in the course of disciplining a child: yelling too loud, spanking too hard, making threats they didn't follow through on - or did. And no matter what the regretted action was, it usually resulted from getting too emotionally worked up during the discipline-inciting event or the discipline action itself - or just not knowing the best way to handle a given situation.

Moreover, it's hard to give yourself a timeout in the middle of an emotional situation, much less consult parenting resources or a friend, but now there is indeed a book to which you can refer in the heat of a discipline moment: Sharon Silver's 2011 book, Stop Reacting and Start Responding:108 Ways to Discipline Consciously and Become the Parent You Want to Be.

Despite the long-winded title, its "ways" are concise, blog-like tips less than two pages long that address situations parents face every day. Each chapter name is a topic parents deal with daily and consists of sub-sections parents can find quickly. The Choices chapter, for example, includes these sub-sections:

• Do It Now - Demand or Empower?
• I'm Not Choosing - What To Do?
• Silly Works Too - Releases Tension

Being arranged this way allows parents to look up an issue, find the best solution within 2-5 minutes (depending on how fast they read) and then apply it. There's even a "Quick View" at the end of each tip to remind parents of what to do if they become caught in the discipline reaction cycle.

Silver says her book "isn't trying to reinvent the parenting wheel but rather to remind parents of other options that are available when they find themselves in the reaction mode. The idea is to ignite a parent's wisdom, knowledge, intuition and self-confidence so they're able to remain calm enough to solve the situation and teach their child what should be done next time, all at the same time."

One key element the book emphasizes: most parents don't consider that they're learning too. They're so focused on dealing with the immediate situation that they think about what will happen the next time the situation arises. They're in survival mode, and acting from survival mode usually doesn't stop behavior from coming back.

Another key element: anger causes children to retreat. When a parent reacts angrily, the child immediately stops listening and tries to weather the storm rather than absorb information. When parents respond through conscious discipline, "they're no longer forcing their child to jump over the hurdles of their anger and frustration in order to learn. The book basically helps parents to enforce rules and boundaries with the emotional volume turned down."