All humans deserve the right to live a life free from violence, yet the National Coalition against Domestic Violence says that one of every four American women will in her lifetime experience domestic violence, defined as a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. These behaviors include physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse, stalking, intimidation and neglect.

The Department of Justice says that most domestic violence cases are never even reported, and that's not surprising: Domestic violence can be traced far back into history. For centuries, social systems condoned an even encouraged (some still do) violence against women. It may be one of the oldest family secrets plaguing homes across the United States, and you yourself have overheard sounds of physical violence from the neighbors around you - or experienced or witnessed it yourself.

Domestic violence occurs in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, with the highest percentage of victims being women. Male violence against women is the leading cause of injury to women, and happens in relationships of all ages, races, genders and income levels. Domestic violence occurs because the abuser wants to completely gain and keep control over his victim. Relationship abuse is a learned behavior and is not caused from alcohol, drugs or a genetic predisposition to be violent or aggressive.

Domestic violence is always a choice. It is also the perpetrator's choice to expose the children to violence and should be held accountable for that choice. Boys who witness domestic violence during their childhood are more likely to become abusers themselves - and girls are more likely to become victims. Children witnessing domestic abuse can become hidden victims in the sense that their experiences can cause short and long-term problems with depression, poor anger management skills, relationship problems, and substance abuse. Some studies suggest that as many as 10 million children witness domestic violence annually. Sometimes it's the child who has to call 911.

The International Violence against Women Act is worldwide effort pioneered by the United States to stop domestic violence against women. It is a pervasive epidemic that affects us all in some way whether we know it or not. Every October is National Domestic Violence Month and the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women is November 25th.

Educate yourself as to the resources and options that are out there. Be aware of the signs of domestic violence. If you know someone experiencing domestic abuse, do not blame the victim and do not judge; rather, hold the perpetrator accountable to stop the violence. If you are experiencing domestic violence now, make a safety plan to escape. You are not alone. It's also imperative that children know they are not to blame for the violence occurring in their home.