Winning at the Game of Motherhood

Winning at the Game of Motherhood

My three boys were, and still are, fierce competitors and candy lovers. 

Because of this, my family had a love/hate relationship with Candy Land. When one of my sons was about to reach the candy castle at the end of the game board, he would get so excited that he could hardly stand it. Whoever was closest to winning would start jumping up and down like a little bouncy ball until his next turn to draw a card. 

If he drew a color card, everything was fine, and I would breathe a sigh of relief. But if he drew Plumpy the Plumpa Troll, I would brace myself for a toddler tantrum. (In the latest edition of Candy Land, Plumpy the green, chubby troll has mysteriously disappeared and has been replaced by Mamma Ginger Tree.) Anyway, Plumpy was the card that sent a player sliding ALLLLLLL the way back to the beginning of the board. 

My kids would melt down if they happened to draw the chubby troll card. After watching one particular fit that was so disturbing for me, I figured out how to handle these meltdowns once and for all. I took Plumpy out of the drawing pile! No one would ever draw that card again.

This wasn't my most brilliant game plan or my best mothering moment. Drawing the Plumpy card could have been a great learning tool for my kids in the bigger game of life - teaching my kids how to bounce back from disappointment, to persevere and to practice self-control. It also could have shown them that the game will continue and can be fun, even if it means not winning. Harder work for me, but definitely better for my sons in the long run.

Current research confirms that playing games is an awesome learning tool. Some researchers even suggest game playing helps the brain work more efficiently in areas linked to critical thinking, reasoning, language and information processing. The popularity of gaming and the use of game mechanics in all sorts of areas have recently sky-rocketed for a reason. 

So, why not take what we know about game playing (that mothers have really known all along), and intentionally use it in our lives and parenting practices? 

Develop your own mothering game plan and think through questions such as: What character traits do I want my children to have when they grow up? How can I help them develop those now? How do I make wise decisions when I'm overwhelmed with choices? When should I listen to and trust my gut? What role do others play in the game? How can I become a better mom and raise confident kids? 

When my children were toddlers and playing Candy Land, I wasn't thinking about an overall strategy for my mothering plan. But I quickly learned the value of keeping a bigger picture in mind and continue to do that today. 

That's the essence of this year's MOPS theme: Learning to embrace our instincts, adjust plans as we are dealt cards we weren't expecting, and engage in this amazing game of motherhood with a confident attitude and a love of life-long learning.   

This article can be reprinted in its entirety, crediting MOPS International,  www.MOPS.org

Article first appeared in MomSense magazine, Sept/Oct 2011.

MOPS INTERNATIONAL

Denver-based MOPS International is a non-profit ministry that creates communities to help "Better Moms Make A Better World." Since 1973, MOPS International has served millions of mothers and families in thousands of local MOPS groups across the U.S. and in 38 countries internationally.  MOPS ministries include Classic MOPS, Teen MOPS, Military MOPS, International MOPS and MOMSnext.  MOPS is the best in the world at creating authentic communities of growth that invite women into a spiritual relationship.  

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Written by: Jean Blackmer See other articles by Jean Blackmer
About the Author:

Jean Blackmer, Author of MomSense: A Common-Sense Guide to Confident Mothering (and other books) and Publishing Manager for MOPS International. Jean Blackmer lives in Boulder, Colorado, with her husband, Zane, and their three sons.

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